Things Don't Always Go According To Plan

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather die than to live another year in prison. Over the years she had become good friends with one of the prison caretakers.

His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone.The caretaker then got the body and put it in a casket.

Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.

Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were kept.

She would slip into the coffin with the dead body while the caretaker was filling out the death certificate. When the care-taker returned, he would nail the lid shut and take the coffin outside the prison with the woman in the coffin along with the dead body. He would then bury the coffin.

The woman knew there would be enough air for her to breathe until later in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free.

The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since he and the woman had become good friends over the years, he agreed to do it. The woman waited several weeks before some-one in the prison died.

She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death bell ring.She got up, picked the lock of her cell, and slowly walked down the hallway. She was nearly caught a couple of times. Her heart was beating fast.

She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in the dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut to wait for the caretaker to come and nail the lid shut.

Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails. Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to freedom.

The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground. She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave with a thud.

Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the wooden coffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would be free at last. After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh.She was free! She was free!

Feeling curious, she decided to light a match to find out the identity of the dead prisoner beside her. To her horror, she discovered that she was lying next to the dead caretaker.

Many people believe they have life all figured out..... but sometimes it just doesn't turn out the way they planned it.

Ignore Those Criticizing Voices

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, 'There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs - millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!' So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.

The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, 'Well... where are all the frogs?' The farmer said, 'I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!'

Best Moments In Life

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing till your stomach hurts.
3. Enjoying a ride down the Country side.
4. Listening to your favorite song on the radio.
5. Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside.
6. Getting out of the shower and wrapping yourself with a warm, fuzzy towel.
7. Passing your final exams with good grades.
8. Being part of an interesting conversation.
9. Finding some money in some old pants.
10. Laughing at yourself.
11. Sharing a wonderful dinner with all your friends.
12. Laughing without a reason.
13. "Accidentally" hearing someone say something good about you.
14. Watching the sunset.
15. Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in your life.
16. Receiving or giving your first kiss.
17. Feeling this movement in your body when seeing this "special" someone.
18. Having a great time with your friends.
19. Seeing the one you love happy.
20. Wearing the shirt of a person you love and smelling his/her perfume.
21. Visiting an old friend of yours and remembering great memories.
22. Hearing some telling you "I LOVE YOU"

Life's Instructions

1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye.
3. Sing in the shower.
4. Own a great stereo system.
5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
6. Keep secrets.
7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
8. Always accept an outstretched hand.
9. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
10. Whistle.
11. Avoid sarcastic remarks.
12. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.
13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
14. Lend only those books you never care to see again.
15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
16. When playing games with ! children, let them win.
17. Give people a second chance, but not a third.
18. Be romantic.
19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
21. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for our convenience, not the caller's.
22. Be a good loser.
23. Be a good winner.
24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
27. Keep it simple.
28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
29. Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the
32. things you didn't do more than the one's you did.
33. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
34. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
35. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
36. Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
37. Begin each day with some of your favorite music.
38. Once in a while, take the scenic route.
39. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
40. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
41. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
42. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
43. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
44. Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
45. Become someone's hero.
46. Marry only for love.
47. Count your blessings.
48. Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
49. Wave at the children on a school bus.
50. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
51. Don't expect life to be fair.

OSHO Rajneesh Quotes and Sayings

1. a disciple can only give his enlightenment to the master
    
2. a true master
   can at the most only inspire you
   to live your being…live in your light
    
3. you don't need anything except yourself and your totality
    
4. it is a sheer luxury
   a windfall of great fortune to find a true master
   and bhagwan master of masters
   the most evolved being ever to walk this earth
   the man of all centuries
    
5. on reaching the state of no mind
   the mind disappears like dewdrops…just simply evaporates
   the mind was just a shadow…of unawareness
    
6. Consciousness you need to earn not through meditation only
   but through meditativess.
   Allowing that inner space of silence to prevail the whole form
   to filer through the bodymind and
   to create roots in the bodymind
    
7. bhagwan does not ask anyone to change in anyway whatsoever
   transformation is a different matter and a different plane altogether
   change requires horizontal movement
   learning more and getting more experience and gaining knowledge
   makes one more knowledgeable
   transformation requires vertical movement
   unlearning and experiencing inner states
   and drowning into knowing leads to awarenes
    
8. remain a witness to your emotions
   as if from a great distance
   an eagles eye view
   slowly this simple knack
   of remaining a detached witness to your subtle emotions will grow stronger
    
9. then witness the entire body and all its bodily movements
   this will lead to a slowing down of bodily actions
   the witness will grow stronger

Ananandamayi Ma Quotes

He alone knows to whom He will reveal Himself under which form. By what path and in what manner He attracts any particular man to Himself with great force is incomprehensible to the human intellect. The Path differs indeed for different pilgrims.

It is the craze for wealth that binds people. To be in bondage means to destroy yourself.

My consciousness has never associated itself with this temporary body. Before I came on this earth ‘I was the same’. As a little girl ‘I was the same’. ………. Ever afterward, though the dance of creation change around me, in the hall of eternity ‘I shall be the same’.

Enquire: ‘Who am I?’ and you will find the answer. Look at a tree: from one seed arises a huge tree; from it comes numerous seeds, each one of which in its turn grows into a tree. No two fruits are alike. Yet it is one life that throbs in every particle of the tree. So, it is the same Atman (soul) everywhere.

Grace is all the time showering like the rain; one should do a little bit of spiritual practice just in order that one is able to grasp it. The little bit of power you have – employ that! Read the sacred texts, take his name, do chanting – as much as you have power to do, go on doing. After that, He is there to do all that is to be done. The stomach does not get filled if the morsel of food is only put into the mouth.

If you just place yourself under the protection of a Guru, then the path which is most suitable for you will by itself open up to you.

Joys and sorrows are time-born and cannot last. Therefore, do not be perturbed by these. The greater the difficulties and obstructions, the more intense will be your endeavour to cling to His feet and the more will your prayer increase from within. And when the time is ripe, you will gain mastery over this power.

Always bear this in mind: Everything is in God’s hands, and you are His tool to be used by Him as He pleases. Try to grasp the significance of ‘all is His’. and you will immediately feel free from all burdens. What will be the result of your surrender to Him? None will seem alien, all will be your very own Self.

Verily, this body is also an utensil for puja (worship); do remember that this is an utensil for puja, and do try to utilize it only for the purpose of puja, and only then will you see that even the inside is becoming clean.

The individual suffers because he perceives duality. Find the One everywhere and in everything and there will be an end to pain and suffering.

The Dalai Lama’s 18 Rules For Living

At the start of the new millennium the Dalai Lama apparently issued eighteen rules for living. Since word travels slowly in the digital age these have only just reached me. Here they are.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs:
   1. Respect for self
   2. Respect for others
   3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.