The international food shortage

Recently, a worldwide survey was conducted and the only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about the solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was, not surprisingly, a huge failure. Because:

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

And, in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

The seeker of truth

After years of searching, the seeker was told to go to a cave, in which he would find a well. 'Ask the well what is truth', he was advised, 'and the well will reveal it to you'. Having found the well, the seeker asked that most fundamental question. And from the depths came the answer, 'Go to the village crossroad: there you shall find what you are seeking'.

Full of hope and anticipation the man ran to the crossroad to find only three rather uninteresting shops. One shop was selling pieces of metal, another sold wood, and thin wires were for sale in the third. Nothing and no one there seemed to have much to do with the revelation of truth.

Disappointed, the seeker returned to the well to demand an explanation, but he was told only, 'You will understand in the future.' When the man protested, all he got in return were the echoes of his own shouts. Indignant for having been made a fool of - or so he thought at the time - the seeker continued his wanderings in search of truth. As years went by, the memory of his experience at the well gradually faded until one night, while he was walking in the moonlight, the sound of sitar music caught his attention. It was wonderful music and it was played with great mastery and inspiration.

Profoundly moved, the truth seeker felt drawn towards the player. He looked at the fingers dancing over the strings. He became aware of the sitar itself. And then suddenly he exploded in a cry of joyous recognition: the sitar was made out of wires and pieces of metal and wood just like those he had once seen in the three stores and had thought it to be without any particular significance.

At last he understood the message of the well: we have already been given everything we need: our task is to assemble and use it in the appropriate way. Nothing is meaningful so long as we perceive only separate fragments. But as soon as the fragments come together into a synthesis, a new entity emerges, whose nature we could not have foreseen by considering the fragments alone.

The great fire and the little water

Among the Aztec people of Mexico, it is said that a long time ago there was a great fire in the forests that covered our Earth. People and animals started to run, trying to escape from the fire. Our brother owl, Tecolotl, was running away also when he noticed a small bird hurrying back and forth between the nearest river and the fire. He headed towards this small bird.

He noticed that it was our brother the Quetzal bird, Quetzaltototl, running to the river, picking up small drops of water in his beak, then returning to the fire to throw that tiny bit of water on the flame. Owl approached Quetsal bird and yelled at him: "What are you doing brother? Are you stupid? You are not going to achieve anything by doing this. What are you trying to do? You must run for your life!"

Quetzal bird stopped for a moment and looked at owl, and then answered: "I am doing the best I can with what I have."

It is remembered by our Grandparents that a long time ago the forests that covered our Earth were saved from a great fire by a small Quetzal bird, an owl, and many other animals and people who got together to put out the fire.

Helpless Love

Once upon a time all feelings and emotions went to a coastal island for a vacation. According to their nature, each was having a good time. Suddenly, a warning of an impending storm was announced and everyone was advised to evacuate the island.

The announcement caused sudden panic. All rushed to their boats. Even damaged boats were quickly repaired and commissioned for duty.

Yet, Love did not wish to flee quickly. There was so much to do. But as the clouds darkened, Love realised it was time to leave. Alas, there were no boats to spare. Love looked around with hope.

Just then Prosperity passed by in a luxurious boat. Love shouted, “Prosperity, could you please take me in your boat?”

“No,” replied Prosperity, “my boat is full of precious possessions, gold and silver. There is no place for you.”

A little later Vanity came by in a beautiful boat. Again Love shouted, “Could you help me, Vanity? I am stranded and need a lift. Please take me with you.”

Vanity responded haughtily, “No, I cannot take you with me. My boat will get soiled with your muddy feet.”

Sorrow passed by after some time. Again, Love asked for help. But it was to no avail. “No, I cannot take you with me. I am so sad. I want to be by myself.”

When Happiness passed by a few minutes later, Love again called for help. But Happiness was so happy that it did not look around, hardly concerned about anyone.

Love was growing restless and dejected. Just then somebody called out, “Come Love, I will take you with me.” Love did not know who was being so magnanimous, but jumped on to the boat, greatly relieved that she would reach a safe place.

On getting off the boat, Love met Knowledge. Puzzled, Love inquired, “Knowledge, do you know who so generously gave me a lift just when no one else wished to help?”

Knowledge smiled, “Oh, that was Time.”

“And why would Time stop to pick me and take me to safety?” Love wondered.

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and replied, “Because only Time knows your true greatness and what you are capable of. Only Love can bring peace and great happiness in this world.”

“The important message is that when we are prosperous, we overlook love. When we feel important, we forget love. Even in happiness and sorrow we forget love. Only with time do we realize the importance of love. Why wait that long? Why not make love a part of your life today?”

Live & Work

Father was a hardworking man who delivered bread as a living to support his wife and three children. He spent all his evenings after work attending classes, hoping to improve himself so that he could one day find a better paying job. Except for Sundays, Father hardly ate a meal together with his family. He worked and studied very hard because he wanted to provide his family with the best money could buy.

Whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

The day came when the examination results were announced. To his joy, Father passed, and with distinctions too! Soon after, he was offered a good job as a senior supervisor which paid handsomely.

Like a dream come true, Father could now afford to provide his family with life’s little luxuries like nice clothing, fine food and vacation abroad.

However, the family still did not get to see father for most of the week. He continued to work very hard, hoping to be promoted to the position of manager. In fact, to make himself a worthily candidate for the promotion, he enrolled for another course in the open university.

Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

Father’s hard work paid off and he was promoted. Jubilantly, he decided to hire a maid to relieve his wife from her domestic tasks. He also felt that their three-room flat was no longer big enough, it would be nice for his family to be able to enjoy the facilities and comfort of a condominium. Having experienced the rewards of his hard work many times before, Father resolved to further his studies and work at being promoted again. The family still did not get to see much of him. In fact, sometimes Father had to work on Sundays entertaining clients. Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

As expected, Father’s hard work paid off again and he bought a beautiful condominium overlooking the coast of Singapore. On the first Sunday evening at their new home, Father declared to his family that he decided not to take anymore courses or pursue any more promotions. From then on he was going to devote more time to his family.

Father did not wake up the next day.

How Rich Are We?

One day a father and his rich family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night on the farm of a very poor family. When they got back from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip?” “Very good Dad!” “Did you see how poor people can be?” the father asked. “Yeah!” “And what did you learn?”

The son answered, “I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden; they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard; they have a whole horizon.” When the little boy was finished, his father was speechless. His son added, “Thanks, Dad, for showing me how ‘poor’ we are!”

Isn’t it true that it all depends on the way you look at things? If you have love, friends, family, health, good humor and a positive attitude towards life — you’ve got everything! You can’t buy any of these things. You may have all the material possessions you can imagine, provisions for the future, etc.; but if you are poor of spirit, you have nothing!

"No Recipient", Funny Signs

---

In a Tokyo Hotel:  Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If 
you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.  

In another Japanese hotel room:  Please to bathe inside the tub.

In a Buchrarest hotel lobby:  The lift is being fixed for the next 
day.  During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.  

In a Leipzig elevator:  Do not enter the lift backwards, and only 
when lit up.  

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:  To more the cabin, push wishing 
floor.  If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should 
press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going to 
alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:  Please leave your values at the front 
desk.

In a hotel in Athens:  Visitors are expected to complain at the 
office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:  The flattening of underwear with pleasure 
is the job of the chambermaids.  

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox 
monastery:  You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous 
Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried 
dailly except Thursday. 

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:  Not to perambulate the 
corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:  Our wines leave you with 
nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:  Salad a firm's own make; limpid 
red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; 
roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country 
people's fashion.

In a Hong Kong supermarket:  For your convenience, we recommend 
courageous, efficient self-service.  (Sounds like Halifax!)

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:  Ladies may have a fit upstairs. 

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:  Drop your trousers here for best 
results. 

Outside a Paris dress shop:  Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:  Order your summers suit.  Because is big 
rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. 

Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:  There will be a Moscow 
Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and 
sculptors.  These were executed over the past two years. 

In an East African newspaper:  A new swimming pool is rapidly 
taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of 
their workers. 

In a Vienna hotel:  In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the 
hotel porter. 

In a Zurich hotel: "Because of the impropriety of entertaining 
guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that 
the lobby be used for this purpose."

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:  It is strictly forbidden 
on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for 
instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are 
married with each other for that purpose.  

In the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other 
diseases."

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:  Teeth extracted by 
the latest Methodists.  

A translated sentence from a Russian chess book:  A lot of water 
has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been 
played. 

In a Rome laundry:  Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the 
afternoon having a good time.  

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:  Take one of our horse-driven 
city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.  

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:  Would you like to 
ride on your own ass?  

On the faucet in a Finnish washroom:  To stop the drip, turn cock 
to right.  

In the window of a Swedish furrier:  Fur coats made for ladies 
from their own skin.  

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:  Guaranteed to 
work throughout its useful life.

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive sideways,  (Sounds like 
Boston!)  

In a Swiss mountain inn:  Special today -- no ice cream.  

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:   We take our bags and send 
them in all directions.  

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:  If this is your first visit 
to the USSR, you are welcome to it.  

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:   Ladies are requested not to have 
children in the bar.  

At a Budapest zoo:   Please do not feed the animals.  If you have 
any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.  

In an Acapulco hotel:  The manager has personally passed all the 
water served here.  

In a Tokyo shop:  Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll 
find they are best in the long run.  

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air 
conditioner:  Cooles and Heates:  If you want just condition of 
warm in your room, please control yourself.  

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:  When passenger of 
foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.  Trumpet him melodiously at 
first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with 
vigor.  

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: 
     -- English well talking.  
     -- Here speeching American.