This Is Good

An old story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, “This is good!”

One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, “This is good!” To which the king replied, “No, this is NOT good!” and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. “You were right,” he said, “it was good that my thumb was blown off.” And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. “And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this.”

“No,” his friend replied, “This is good!” “What do you mean,’This is good’? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?” “If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you.”

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

Never Give Up

Sir Winston Churchill took three years getting through eighth grade because he had trouble learning English. It seems ironic that years later Oxford University asked him to address its commencement exercises.

He arrived with his usual props. A cigar, a cane and a top hat accompanied Churchill wherever he went. As Churchill approached the podium, the crowd rose in appreciative applause. With unmatched dignity, he settled the crowd and stood confident before his admirers. Removing the cigar and carefully placing the top hat on the podium, Churchill gazed at his waiting audience. Authority rang in Churchill’s voice as he shouted, “Never give up!”

Several seconds passed before he rose to his toes and repeated: “Never give up!” His words thundered in their ears. There was a deafening silence as Churchill reached for his hat and cigar, steadied himself with his cane and left the platform. His commencement address was finished.

The Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction has gained quite a bit of popularity over the past few years. This is mainly due to the success of the movie, The Secret. Although it was a great movie that exposed many people to this law, after seeing it several times myself and gauging the reaction and understanding of other people, I realized that The Secret gave people some false thinking. So what I will be writing about in the article is how this law is presented and how to correctly get the most out of it.

What Is It?

So what does The Secret say about this law of attraction? Basically, we become what we think about. When you intend something to occur in your life, the forces of the universe will cause events to take place that will lead you to obtaining that which you intended. What this means is that you can ask for what you want by intending it in your mind and then allow it to come into your life. By allowing it, what that means is that you believe that what you intend will happen without a doubt.

When you doubt, it will drive away what you want. This is the opposite of the law of attraction. One of the main reasons why most people don’t get what they want is because they simply don’t believe that they can obtain it. Because of this, events that could have led to them obtaining their intentions will never manifest.

The Problem

Okay, so this all sounds good, but what is the problem here? After seeing the reaction of several people as well as watching and reading the reactions of dozens of people online, I realized that many of them believe that to have this law work, all you have to do is intend something and that’s it.

There are two common approaches to this. The first is what is instructed in The Secret and that is to just intend it and let it be. Basically, you “place and order with the universe” and just go on with your daily life and it will come. The second common approach that many people take is to visualize what they want as already being their reality. So every day, upon waking up and before going to bed, they would visualize and see their dreams as if they have already been achieved.

After the success of The Secret, a ton of people all of the sudden became experts and started to sell books and audio programs about the law of attraction. This concept has been around for the longest time but it was that movie that got it to become well-known. What made it even more popular was when Oprah interviewed some of the people who were featured in the movie.

Okay, so if this many people are talking about this law of attraction, then it must be working right? Well, not quite. Think about it. If what this movie taught was enough for you to achieve all of your goals and make your life they way you have always wanted it, then what is the purpose of all of these people coming out with books and programs based on this law? Some people may say it’s exploitation, that these authors are riding on the success of The Secret movie to make money. Some people say they just want to make the law clearer.

The Truth

So what’s the truth here and how do you really make the secret law of attraction work for you? Let’s get one thing straight. Nothing will change in your life unless you take action. So if you thought that you can just “intend” and not do anything and expect your life to change, good luck intending for the rest of your life. Knowing what you want is important because it gives you a goal, a focus to go after. Visualization is important because it helps you believe that you can achieve those goals. However, these things are just a part of the steps that you need to take to accomplish your goals.

Once you know what you want, you need to make a plan and start taking action. While you’re doing this, you can visualize the end result to increase your belief that your dreams will come true. The more you believe you can do it, the more action you will take and the greater your chances in actually realizing those dreams will be.

When you feel negatively about your intentions, meaning you don’t think it will happen, you will push it away according to the law of attraction. This sound logical but what is really happening here? Basically, when you start to think you can’t achieve those goals, your belief level drops. When your level of belief in achieving those goals drop, you will tend to take less action and therefore, will decrease your chances of achieving your goals.

I’m not saying that this law doesn’t work, it actually does work but there are some misconceptions of how to actually make it work. There are dozens of stories about how someone saw The Secret movie and went out and bought a lottery ticket. I have to admit that the presentation of that movie was pretty good. It got me to think about life and how everything and everyone is connected. Perhaps we are but if you saw that movie or read about this attraction law and think that all it takes is visual imagery or sitting on your couch intending all day, then you’re wrong. If you don’t understand the concept then money and the law of attraction won’t go together very well.

I got the sense that the movie and all of the follow up books and audio programs from dozens of experts in the self-help field made achieving your dreams sound way too easy. It’s like giving people a reason to be lazy. If anything, then it’s a great marketing tactic because who doesn’t want take the easy road? Why make life harder than it already is right?

I believe the laws of attraction works but you have to take a different approach then what seems to be presented by the movie as well as a lot of these authors.

How to Use The Law of Attraction

1. Know what you want.

This is basic. Without a goal or a focus, you will waste a lot of time. When you know exactly where it is you want to be and spend most of your time going in that direction, you will have a much greater chance of getting there.

2. Believe that you can achieve it.

There are lots of things you can do to help increase your belief such as surround yourself with the right people and using visualization. For most of us, having a million dollars seems impossible. It’s difficult to truly believe it. However, for a millionaire, it’s like believing in gravity. It’s already their reality so it’s not at all impossible. If they lost everything, they can get it all back because they know it’s possible.

By surrounding yourself with people who are already well on their way of achieving the things you want to achieve or with people who have already achieved it, your beliefs that you can create the same reality with your life will skyrocket.

In terms of visualization, when you see your goals as already being accomplished, it will help give you more confidence in yourself and that will allow you to take the necessary actions to accomplish your goals.

3. Take massive action.

You should realize by now that you must take action in order to achieve your goals, but how does this relate to the law of attraction? Well, once you know what you want and believe that you can get it and start to take action, things will start happening to help you achieve your goals.

In The Secret, the movies talks about how once you intend something the universe will move to bring events and people into your life to help make your dreams a reality. The truth is, YOU are the one who causes these things to come into your reality, not the universe. You can intend all you want but if you just sit on the couch all day, nothing will change for you.

Let’s say your goal is to get fit. Do you think just intending it while sitting in front of the TV is going to move you any closer to your goal? Of course not. It’s when you get off the couch and go to the gym that your life will start to change.

What It Really Takes

Realize that a lot of these books, audio programs, seminars, and workshops that teach the law of attraction or any other method of achieving your goals will try to make it sound really easy in order to entice and draw more people in. If I were to tell you that I have found a way to achieve any goal you want but it will take a LOT of hard work, would you be interested? Most people won’t be. However, if I told you that it will be almost effortless, do you think people are more likely to buy into it? Of course. It’s just human nature to find the easy way out.

Look, if you want to create the life of your dreams, you need to work hard on the right things. Sure, there are some people who barely lifted a finger and have a life most of us can only dream of but that’s the exception, not the rule. Until you get out of that mindset of looking for shortcuts and always taking the easy road, chances are, you won’t achieve your goals.

Again, the law of attraction does really work but it can only work if you work. It’s not some sort of mystical magic phenomenon that will suddenly change your life. It’s really just about knowing what you want, believing in yourself, and taking action. When you take action it means you are making a change. How do you change your life? You do it by changing your daily actions. As you do this, you’ll “attract” the things that you want.

If you have had success with the law of attraction, I think the main reason is because it got you to believe that achieving your goals is possible. Because you finally started to believe in yourself, you started to take the correct steps to make your dreams and goals a reality.

Final Thoughts

So in conclusion, success isn’t easy. Achieving your dream life isn’t easy. If it was, we’d all have what we want. If all you had to do was intend and wait for things to happen, you’d have all that you want right now. For the longest time I kept believing that it was stupid to work hard if there was an easier way. I later found out that it is in the hard work that you will find the real secret to achieving your goals, and that is to continually produce.

Knowing the law of attraction is a good start. It will at least help you understand that you need to have a strong belief in yourself in order to achieve your goals. However, without taking action and producing results, you’ll never get what you want. People who say it’s easy only say that because either they are trying to scam you out of your money or they are doing something they love and work doesn’t feel like work to them. Whether or not it feels like work, you still need to work hard to accomplish your dreams. Period.

So stop intending and go out there and actually do something!

Get Up

Bringing a giraffe into the world is a tall order. A baby giraffe falls 10 feet from its mother’s womb and usually lands on its back. Within seconds it rolls over and tucks its legs under its body. From this position it considers the world for the first time and shakes off the last vestiges of the birthing fluid from its eyes and ears. Then the mother giraffe rudely introduces its offspring to the reality of life.

In his book, “A View from the Zoo”, Gary Richmond describes how a newborn giraffe learns its first lesson.

The mother giraffe lowers her head long enough to take a quick look. Then she positions herself directly over her calf. She waits for about a minute, and then she does the most unreasonable thing. She swings her long, pendulous leg outward and kicks her baby, so that it is sent sprawling head over heels.

When it doesn’t get up, the violent process is repeated over and over again. The struggle to rise is momentous. As the baby calf grows tired, the mother kicks it again to stimulate its efforts. Finally, the calf stands for the first time on its wobbly legs.

Then the mother giraffe does the most remarkable thing. She kicks it off its feet again. Why? She wants it to remember how it got up. In the wild, baby giraffes must be able to get up as quickly as possible to stay with the herd, where there is safety. Lions, hyenas, leopards, and wild hunting dogs all enjoy young giraffes, and they’d get it too, if the mother didn’t teach her calf to get up quickly and get with it.

The late Irving Stone understood this. He spent a lifetime studying greatness, writing novelized biographies of such men as Michelangelo, Vincent van Gogh, Sigmund Freud, and Charles Darwin.

Stone was once asked if he had found a thread that runs through the lives of all these exceptional people. He said, “I write about people who sometime in their life have a vision or dream of something that should be accomplished and they go to work.

“They are beaten over the head, knocked down, vilified, and for years they get nowhere. But every time they’re knocked down they stand up. You cannot destroy these people. And at the end of their lives they’ve accomplished some modest part of what they set out to do.”

 

I have learned…

I’ve learned-
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned-
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned-
that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I’ve learned-
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

I’ve learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned-
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned-
that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned-
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I’ve learned-
that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned-
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned-
that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

I’ve learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned-
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned-
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

I’ve learned-
that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

The Important things in life

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”