Commitment makes the difference

Nothing of worth or weight can be achieved with half a mind, with a faint heart, and with a lame endeavor. Isaac Barrow

To really understand this saying, look back at your school days and reflect on those subjects that you disliked, found it hard to study, got relatively poor marks and those that you desperately wished could be done away with. For many students mathematics was their bugbear, for some it was science, for others it was either languages or the social sciences. Of course there could be some who hated the art and music class and those not liking physical activities the PT classes were dreaded. What is uniformly true for all students who hated any subject was their half hearted attempts at studying, their inherent dislike and fear of the subject and the very low priority they gave to the subject.

Now look at those areas in your life which you excelled in or indulged in. At this precise moment, there is a feeling of euphoria in you, a sense of self worth and a rising passion merely thinking about those activities that you really relish. Notice that it is these very feelings and approach that have made you both successful and committed to those activities. In effect, this means that once we make up our minds to be involved in something because we like it, we normally give it our best shot and even if we don’t get the expected results we still enjoy the effort and resolve to commit to it again.

We can distill these feelings and learning into 3 broad requirements; passion, motivation and commitment.

Passion is what makes a person become deeply interested, focused and determined to make a success of his/her interest. This means that he/she will be constantly seeking out ways and means to be involved in those activities that are very fond of. They will also try to improve themselves so that they are the best in what they do because they are passionate. When a person is passionate, the person automatically gets motivated. Motivation ensures that the person will accept any challenge, work extra hard and will sacrifice a lot to get success in their passion. Motivation also ensures that people have the drive and energy to wait for success and they do not get discouraged easily. It also provides the energy to people to keep pegging away patiently in faith and hope. Commitment is ability to continue to traverse the path chosen even if it is paved with thorns. This means overcoming many obstacles, being steadfast in ones resolve and being thick skinned enough to shun criticism, negative thoughts and occasional failures.

The life story of the rich and the famous would reveal that without exception each one of them exhibited strength of character, had clear vision and focus and above all believed in themselves and worked to attain their goals no matter what the cost. Ironically the valor and sacrifices of our freedom fighters, our soldiers and our martyrs reveal the same sterling qualities. To cap it all the great sporting icons of those nation, the superheroes and heroines who have a large fan following and our well respected seniors and colleagues in the workplace also are testimony to the success story that they have scripted through dint of hard work, vision, self belief and commitment.

Remember: “There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.”

Try this:

List out 3 of your passions. Now for each of them identify 2 icons in that field, 2 new areas of opportunity to be explored by you and find out 2 new websites that will help you develop your passion even more.

How will you be able to motivate yourself in your current field of study / current job/ current profession? If you are struggling and not able to break free of the shackles that weigh you down how will you find the energy and resources to be committed and be positive. If your current activities does not enthuse you how will you motivate yourself for a change?

Using head and heart

To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart. – Donald Laird

As social animals, we human beings have no choice but to live in society which implies that we need to interact with others, adjust to the demands of societal norms and yet maintain our own identity and independence. This poses a problem simply because the individuality that we pride on wants to break free of any shackles imposed on us while the social instinct in us forces us to toe the line that is determined by society and culture. It is reconciling this dichotomy that unconsciously poses a big dilemma for most of us. Our quote today, provides a glimpse of the option available to us to effectively maintain our personal identity while also ensuring we do justice to our social and neighborly role.

To begin with, we need to asses our own approach to our personal values, beliefs and actions. Being pragmatic would perhaps gives us the smoothest passage forward and that is possible when we don’t get overtly emotional and become a tinge more practical thinking out solutions, selecting logical options and making choices that suit our individuality. Eg. When we lose a loved one, grief would be obviously what overcomes us. Yet in that moment of grief too we need to get control of our emotions and if we always believed in organ donation should initiate steps for that. On the other hand if we are more traditional then there is no need to take on the guilt of pandering to the demands of those urging you to donate the organs for it is a very personal and private decision.

On the other hand when we play our role as social animals and discharge our obligations as neighbors, friends, relatives or as another human being, we need to listen to our heart and less to our wisdom which is often based on reasoning, logic and taken without any emotions attached to it. Eg. If we are firm believers in organ donation, we cannot impose our will on others who may not share our sentiments because of their personal reasons. We must respect the sentiments of the parties involved and try to empathize with their emotions rather than quarrel or wrestle with their flawed logic as we would be tempted to think. Take another scenario which is more prevalent the constant battle between parents who want their children to study and the children who are more keen to focus on their own interests be it games or computers or TV. Most parents use a hackneyed logic of equating studies with success in life which the children view as a bitter pill the parents are trying to push down their throat. On the other hand if the parents encouraged the children to pursue their own interests while setting some discipline to ensure that studies were also regularly done, it could be a win win situation since the children would perhaps see the parents as allies in their efforts to excel.

Criticism offers perhaps the best opportunity for us to put the above maxim to full use. When we are criticized we should suspend our emotional discomfort and attempt to see if there is any truth in the points raise by our critics. If the criticism is untrue simply ignore it. However if it is true then we need to be grateful that out attention has been drawn to something that impedes our effectiveness and we should work on overcoming those flaws. On the other hand when we have to be critical of others, then we must consider the emotional ramifications of our feedback on the other party and hence we must not be unduly harsh or hurtful. Instead we must handle their fragile emotions carefully and encourage them to overcome their flaws whilst also drawing attention to their strengths. This will help them maintain their dignity, reinforce confidence in themselves and at the same time give them the self belief that they can improve with effort and persistence.

Remember: The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing. Blaise Pascal

Try this:

Can you recollect the last 5 criticisms that came your way. Do you recollect who told them? Were the criticisms justified? What efforts did you do to learn and improve from those criticisms?

Write down 3 strengths and 1 criticism you have concerning the following people.

Your favorite high school teacher

Your best friend

Your neighbor

Your own family members (list them out and write for each person)

The challenge of decision making

If we wait until we’ve satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late. Lee Iacocca

One of the toughest parts of decision making is trying to minimize the uncertainties associated with the decision so as to ensure that we improve the chances of having taken the right decision. There are numerous reasons why getting answers to all uncertainties is extremely difficult. To begin with there is a tradeoff between the time available to get all the inputs required to answer all uncertainties and the time frame within which to take the decision. There are numerous uncertainties where a judgment is the only way one can use to determine the probability of nailing the uncertainity.eg if we visit a couple of doctors for each ones expert opinion on a serious illness and all of them suggest a different line of treatment, we have no choice but to go with one of those recommendations. As a result, most times apart from using the available data we end up having to use our judgment and rely on our prior experience to arrive at a decision.

One of the most common ailments of decision making prevalent largely in the corporate world is described as Paralysis by analysis. Here the problem arises not because the decision to be made is really tough but more because the decision makers don’t want to be held responsible in case their decision goes wrong. As a result they would attempt to use all techniques and tools to study and analyze the data available and they would even tweak it till it confirms what they want to believe or prove so that there is ample paperwork to justify their decision. Unfortunately since most decisions are time bound, decision makers can be mentally paralyzed by the reams of analytical data that is generated which may be quite at variance with our expectations and the decision making process goes for a toss.

Decisions concerning relationships are even more tough because it calls for a value judgment. A simple test is to write down the qualities of an ideal spouse. Most times this process for married people poses a serious problem of having to forcefully appreciate the qualities of a spouse. For those yet unmarried the problem is one of how to prune the list. The tough part is yet to come; for those who are yet to be married the question is how does one really recognize this quality or attribute in their to be spouse for the married person it is accepting the reality that many of those attributes longed for are utopian and unrealistic now. Breaking off a friendship or relationship is perhaps one of the toughest decisions because it is hurtful, painful, emotional and distressing for all concerned. Many a time this happens when there is mistrust and doubt and an amicable parting is often difficult but inevitable. Here the sheer pressure of the uncertainly in the relationship could prove to be a mill stone in the relationship which ultimately drowns it perhaps a wee bit too late. Even more tough is to take a decision to part because pure rational itself does not provide the answers to all the uncertainties associated with the relationship. E.g. An office romance between a married boss and a subordinate or social pressures associated with a gay relationship or the breaking up of a partnership or a joint venture because the parties have divergent view points.

Remember: “My basic principle is that you don’t make decisions because they are easy; you don’t make them because they are cheap; you don’t make them because they’re popular; you make them because they’re right.” Theodore Hesburgh

Try this:

Your most intimate friend has picked up a new job and ever since his visits and interactions have come down. You are disappointed and not sure if it is only the new job that is the reason for this sudden drop in communications and interactions. You are confused and hurt but you still cherish his friendship. How will you ensure that you don’t take a drastic or wrong decision by cutting off all your ties while at the same time ensuring that he still values your friendship?

You are at a famous art museum that has a Picasso, a Rembrandt and a Van Gogh painting among some other prized paintings being exhibited. Suddenly there is a fire in the museum and you are able to save just one painting. Which painting will you save?

Self belief unlocks many locks

It is the heart always that sees, before the head can see. Thomas Carlyle

How often have you experienced the strange feeling of either something going very right or a premonition of something unfortunate and then seeing things happen to confirm your feelings? How often have you listened to your hearts calling and despite more logical advice pursued your own instincts and triumphed? Are there times when you met people and felt uncomfortable and therefore limited your interactions which later proved to be a blessing in disguise? If you have dared to be different, furrowed a solo path, given in to your passions and always feel on top of the world then you are one of those fortunate people who believed in themselves and worked to realize your dreams.

What is common in all the experiences above is that when one sees with the heart one can feel; when one sees with the head you need to get it confirmed logically. Today you believe that pictures can be transmitted through the air and seen on the other side of the globe because you have seen television and internet work. Ever imagined how the people who were instrumental in developing these technologies could dare to attempt it? They answer lies in their self belief in their knowledge, their ability and their visualization. It is when one believes in ones self that one can dare to think big, think different, get the courage to attempt the impossible and persist without losing heart. Self belief helps one open up numerous locks that may have trapped our faith, our skills, our passion, our imagination and our momentum.

An important prerequisite for self belief is a positive attitude. If we lack the positive attitude we are prone to see the negatives in things and the seeds of self belief will never grow in such an unfertile environment. All great triumphs of men and women are primarily the result of their self belief which in turn reaffirms the positive attitude that these people nurtured all along. Imagination and creative thinking will help one to hone the art and skill of self belief. It doesn’t take much to follow the beaten path, to traverse the road that others have or to simply trudge along following the herd. When one develops a vivid imagination, is open to a wide variety of influences that fertilizes the thinking and can creatively infuse daring into thought, self belief slowly takes roots and lines the pathways to experimentation, rework and triumph.

Persistence is the hammer that nails down triumph through self belief. Far too often our self belief does not fructify into triumph simply because we give up too soon. When failures beset our efforts we tend to lose faith rather than focus on alternatives. It is those who have continued with their quest despite the many odds and obstacles who live their self belief and prove themselves. The real pin that pricks and bursts our self belief is our inability to cope with criticisms. There will always be many who either because they lack the visualization or because they are risk averse or they do not have faith in you who will criticize and dissuade one from pursing ones passion. Without being hurt or shaken by these critics, one needs to focus on the goal and keep believing in ones own dream. Else one would soon give in to the critics and find ourselves caught between our passion and their logic and then we would no longer be listen with our heart. Listen / see/ feel with the heart and then you will see/ touch / experience with all your other senses.

Remember: “Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.” Gail Devers

Try this:

Try and play the game Freecell available on the windows platform. It is a card game and there are over 30,000 games that you can play. Technically each game can be solved. So with this ‘self belief’ attempt to play each of these games and solve the game Fanatical player use the drop down menu to go systematically and choose games in serial order and solve each one before they proceed to the next.

Many of us have some latent talent which we keep hidden from the world for fear of being laughed at. This is a good opportunity to exhibit ones talent be it in cooking, singing, writing poetry, dancing, mimicking, quizzing, being a host of a show, calligraphy, etc. Choose 3 of your passions and attempt to participate at least at a local level competition. The worst thing that can happen is that you may not win but what you would have gained is self confidence.

The perfect time is now…

This time like all times is a very good one if we but know what to do with it - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Last night, I was deeply disappointed that I ran headlong into a writer’s worst nightmare ‘the writer’s block’ and after pottering around for more than an hour attempting to get going with the blog I simply quit. Funnily enough I enjoyed a good sleep but on waking up was racked with pangs of guilt on not writing the blog, suffering the ignominy of being idealess and I suspect more depressed at the blow to my ego. However as the day wore on it occurred to me that the experience of the previous night was not entirely wasted; after all I was subject to the painful realization of my own limitations; having made the decision to give up and go to sleep my dilemma was resolved and I enjoyed blissful sleep; and on waking up I was glad to rediscover my competitive drive. That time (yesterday when I stared for an hour at a blank screen attempting to write) just like the present moment that I am writing and this moment that you are reading this post are all equally invaluable provided each of us is doing exactly what was/ is required.

Our successes or failures in life are nothing but net effect of the time we spend fruitfully minus the time we waste in doing things that either we ought not to do or should do at another time. Look back at our own student days and reflect on how much effort we put into studies and how much time we spend in day dreaming, hanging out with friends, sleeping, watching movies TV partying etc. It is not as if to suggest that the latter activities are to be avoided but definitely they must be restricted for each of us is fortunately or unfortunately privy only to 24 hours of the day. A good test to understand how much time we utilize productively is to ask if we have any regrets. The more the regrets the greater the waste of our limited time. Ask if you have taken time out to smell the flowers as you traverse the paths of life. If you haven’t then soon you would realize the frustrtionof having the time but squandering it.

Another test to find out if we have made good use of our time is to answer the question’ what will I do with the last 10 minutes of my life?’

Ask if you would end telling yourself the following

I will go around telling those whom I love that I love them passionately

I will go around pardoning all those who hurt me

I will go around seeking pardon from those I hurt,

I will loosen my purse strings and liberally give out to charity etc.

Some questions that will haunt you then are

Can I do all this in 10 minutes?

Should I have not done this all the time?

Why did I waste my time on frivolous things when I should have spend more time with loved ones?

Was my life worth whatever I achieved?

Will someone really grieve for me?

Remember:

Happy the man, and happy he alone,

He, who can call to-day his own:

He who, secure within, can say:

“To-morrow, do thy worst, for I have liv’d to-day.”

Try this:

Ask yourself right now if this is the right time to read the blog. If your answer is yes then go on and read a few more blog posts including the weekly post at Academy for Creative Training If your answer is NO, then stop reading and slot a time to read and henceforth make it a point to read these posts only at that time.

Any time is perfect to do the following. Ensue that you practice as many of these as often as you can.

Smile

Thank

Apologize

Praise

Reflect

Appreciate

Pardon

Pray

The secret to your future

Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you. Frank Tyger

All of us, me included have a hundred different reasons and excuses to justify why we haven’t realized our full potential. The reality though is that nothing absolutely nothing is going to chance the past. Yet irrespective of one’s age, social status, financial status, academic background, past history and the like, there is a wonderful future that each of us can embrace whole heartedly if we are prepared to boldly accept the challenge and work purposefully towards it. There are 4 conditions that one has to fulfill in order to make the future you want for yourself.

The first is to remember the lessons of the past without holding on to the past. We fail to progress beyond our past performance simply because we live with ghost of past failures, keep brooding over the wasted opportunities that we never took advantage of and often meander into some of those rare moments of triumphs and successes we did relish occasionally. While we certainly cannot erase the past completely, we must learn to identify the key learning and keep that uppermost in mind as we proceed further so as to avoid the same pitfalls of the past. We must never let the bad past ruin a perfect present or take away from us the immense possibilities that lay ahead of us.

The second is to believe in yourself and yet be pragmatic about your strengths and weakness. Each one of us has it within us the ability to stretch ourselves to excel. Excellence is ensuring that we use our abilities to the fullest extend and must not be mistaken to mean always out performing others. It is obvious then that we need to asses ourselves dispassionately and leverage our strengths without letting our weaknesses become a stumbling block. It would also entail us having the courage of conviction to take calculated risks, the daring to fail and yet not give up and to pursue our dreams with steely resolve and self confidence. As rightly said it is our attitude that determines our altitude.

The third is to always have a goal to focus on. What really lets us down is an indisciplined approach to the future. The prime reason for this is lack of clarity as to where we want to go and what we want to achieve. Perhaps we would be a lot happier if we could simply identify our personal, professional, financial and spiritual goals. Perhaps we have a hazy idea of our goals, but then we are tempted to change the goal posts in the hope of scoring at will. Goals helps us concentrate, enable us to channelize the resources required and helps us chart our progress and if need be take the corrective measures to ensure that we make the best of our future. It is sarcastically observed that if we do not know our destination any road will lead us there.

The fourth is to adapt, change, improve, transform yourself to ensure that you are progressing towards your goal. Simply put this means that one has to make umpteen sacrifices if one were to make the best of the future ahead. Look what happened to the dinosaurs of old who became extinct simply because they could not adapt, change, improve or transform themselves to meet the onslaught of change. While we make not suffer such an ignominy, it is very possible that the future we face by being rigid and uncompromising can be painful, frustrating and very regrettable. Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change. It is imperative that we change else the chances are that we will fall in the second category.

Remember: “Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future.” Denis Waitley

Try this:

Jot down 3 lessons you learnt from any failures/ regrets that you have from your past.

Ask a few close friends to name 3 of your strengths and one weakness they perceive in you. Reflect on these particularly on the weakness and work out how you can use the new knowledge about yourself to shape your future.
Take a pencil and paper and do the following

Make a sketch of your dream house. Now put a realistic price tag to it.
Make a realistic assessment of what your monthly savings should be and what you think should be your monthly income after you attain the age of 60.
Make a plan for an overseas holiday with your spouse and the roadmap to make it happen in the next 2 years.

Outline your definition of a successful person. Now write down your own success statement.

BRAIN DAMAGING HABITS

1. No Breakfast

People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar
level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain
causing brain degeneration.

2 . Overeating

It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental
power.

3. Smoking

It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.

4. High Sugar consumption

Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.

5. Air Pollution

The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.

6 . Sleep Deprivation

Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.

7. Head covered while sleeping

Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.

8. Working your brain during illness

Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.

9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts

Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage. Crosswords and Sudoku provide good exercises.

10. Talking Rarely

Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain.


THE MAIN CAUSES OF LIVER DAMAGE ARE :

1. Sleeping too late and waking up too late.

2. Not urinating in the morning.

3. Too much eating.

4. Skipping breakfast.

5. Consuming too much medication.

6. Consuming too much preservatives, additives, food coloring, and artificial sweetener.

7. Consuming unhealthy cooking oil.

As much as possible reduce cooking oil use when frying, which includes even the best cooking oils like olive oil. Do not consume fried foods when you are tired, except if the body is very fit.

8. Consuming raw (or overly done) foods also adds to the burden of liver.
Veggies should be eaten raw or cooked 3-5 parts. Fried veggies should be
finished in one sitting, do not store.

THE TOP FIVE CANCER CAUSING FOODS ARE :

1. Hot Dogs

Because they are high in nitrates. the Cancer Prevention Coalition advises that children eat no more than 12 hot dogs a month. If you can't live without hot dogs, buy those made without sodium nitrate.

2. Processed meats and Bacon

Also high in the same sodium nitrates found in hot dogs, bacon, and other
processed meats raise the risk of heart disease. The saturated fat in bacon
also contributes to cancer.

3. Doughnuts

Doughnuts are cancer-causing double trouble. First, they are made with white flour, sugar, and hydrogenated oils, then fried at high temperatures.
Doughnuts, may be the worst food you can possibly eat to raise your risk of cancer.

4. French fries
Like doughnuts, French fries are made with hydrogenated oils and then fried at high temperatures. They also contain cancer- causing acryl amides which occur during the frying process. They should be called cancer fries, not French fries.

5. Chips, crackers, and cookies

All are usually made with white flour and sugar. Even the ones whose labels claim to be free of trans-fats generally contain small amounts of
trans-fats