Top 5 Ways to Self-Actualize Your Stress

Stress is a disease that can be partially cured. Here are a few thoughts that may help you live more in peace with yourself.

1. They say that 'primordial stress' is related to our unspoken fear of dying, of the end of life. But is it really dying that we are afraid of? No, because we don't know what dying really is. With the end of our existence also comes the end of consciousness and sensation, and so how can we know anything of dying?

2. Stress is generated by a fear of not being perfect. So, you believe you are perfect, do you? Well, you should know that you have never been perfect, because your lack of modesty allowed you to think that you were. And there can be no perfection where there is a lack!

3. Stress comes from being afraid that you can't get everything done on time. Time, like space, is an extendable dimension. It is one of those rare commodities that can be bestowed almost without limit. Remember that nothing grand or beautiful was ever accomplished in a day.

4. Stress comes from fearing that you do not correspond to the self image you want to project. The eye does not see the object itself, but the image of the object. You too are just a reflection in other people's eyes. They will never see you as you really are, no matter how hard they try. So why worry?

5. Stress arises when you don't know how to say no. You do know how to say no. Do you need proof? Well, the fact that you are alive and reading these lines means that you have succeeded in saying no many times, both with your body and with your mind. That's because living means refusing to die, day after day

Relationships are like Trees

Relationships are like trees. Now what does this mean?

Have you ever been to any orchard? I am sure we all have seen at least a few of them like orange, mango, cashew, coconut, chiku and many more. Did you notice friends, how these trees are planted? There is always a gap between any two grown up trees. Every tree needs some space to grow properly. It needs the right amount of light, soil, water, mineral and loving hands of a farmer. When all these needs are being taken care of well then only the tree grows the way the farmer wants it to be.

Similarly, all relationships too need some space to grow. They also need right amount of all ingredients including love and affection to take a proper shape, any relationship is like the four pillars of a temple. They are together, but they can’t come very close to each other and if they do so, the walls of the temple would fall off, it would collapse. So friends, all relationships need a proper space to grow!

A tree is planted today but bears fruits only after a particular period, when it reaches maturity.

Similarly, our relationships also bear fruits at a later date. We shouldn't expect anything right from the beginning.

Big trees give shelter to all passers by without any expectations. And I have noticed that true, matured relationships too provide mental, emotional and physical shelter (support) to all.

Deeper the roots, stronger the hold of a tree. Similarly deeper the understanding, stronger the relationship.

When the winds are blowing harsh, the trees sway in the direction of wind and only those who do so, survive. Others are uprooted. Similarly, there are occasions when we just need to overlook a few things, just let them go, just flow with the wind. Only such relationships pass the test of hard times and survive even in not so favorable conditions.

Thus friends! Relationships are like trees, if nurtured with utmost love and care, will bear sweet fruits of love, compassion, strong emotional bonding and care

Some Important Points to Remember For Life

 Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants Error! and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.
6. Play more games.
7. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
8. Sleep for 7 hours.
9. Walk for 10-30 minutes every day. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
3. Don't overdo. Keep your limits.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
6. Dream more while you are awake.
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
13. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
14. Smile and laugh more.
15. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Society:

1. Call your family often.
2. Each day give something good to others.
3. Forgive everyone for everything.
4. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
5. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
6. What other people think of you is none of your business.
7. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

1. Do the right thing!
2. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
3. GOD heals everything.
4. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
5. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
6. The best is yet to come.
7. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
8. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Benefits of Being Polite

We all believe in the philosophy that the essence of life is talking. Communicating with others is as necessary as food. If we dont, we tend to fall ill. Today people are rarely talking.

The art of conversation has almost died down. People just usually sit and chat in their office breaks about things that are not even worth thinking about. Lets face it; we all are going towards doom where each one of us is talking to pass/kill time. The art of using communication is no more existing. People are concerned about others influence in their lives and not about their influence in others life.

It is an unbelievable thing that an effective communication through polite words can have wonderful impact on you and others lives as well. You can win the hearts of many people, climb the corporate ladder, have promotions but not have wonderful relationship with people around you.

The path to a successful life comes thorough the stairs of politeness. An act of politeness can do wonders that no monetary thing can do. Let us go deep in the art of efficient speaking by these methods.

Talking about ideas and not people

Its truly said, great minds talk about ideas and small minds talk about people. Politeness is an attitude of life. Talking about ideas heightens your politeness towards innovations and stimulates your mind too. This is effective for the speaker and the listener both. To start talking about people you can breathe out all negative energies about anyone: latest crush, which dress she wears, which perfume she uses, her bad attitude. The idea is that everything you talk about people usually comes negative. This develops a feeling of self love and comparison at all means. You do not value your life as much as you do to others.

Using intellect instead of the tongue

Usually people chatter on at length not worrying about the impact it would have on others. Since people are so occupied in themselves theyd rather talk about themselves only. This instigates them to speak rubbish endlessly. Have you ever thought how much of an impact we can have on others by our words? By trying to use our brains before speaking, we will save others sentiments and preserve a healthy relationship between our near ones.

Avoiding gossip

The one who usually starts a gossip or backbiting about someone does not know that he is the one to have the last laugh. People who start commenting and spreading rumors about others usually end up in a muck of politics and bickering about themselves from the other end. Such people should be avoided at arm’s length. Even listening to gossip is as harmful since the listener had the power to listen to negative communication. This unhealthy gossiping could have been stopped if the listener would have ignored the speaker.

Exchange of compliments

We should not limit our compliment intake be restricted to our close relatives. People like our helpers such as servants, cleaners, house maids are those on whom we can count on. Speaking politely to them will ensure that your day is made. They are the ones who offer your services to make your life comfortable. So we should make endeavors to enrich their lives by complimenting and praising them.

Look for positive things in negative people

We all have negative and positive sides. Nobody on this earth has a squeaky clean nature. We all have flaws, however some people are observed negatively by their rude behavior and we become very judgmental about them putting them in the negative category. We should understand that people who are rude have their own weaknesses. They do not choose to be like that. Frustrations at work or domestic front make them act in this behavior. Such people should be offered more help than others comparatively. Talking politely with them will make a difference in their lives and yours too.

Feel positive about you all the time

Quite often we do not realize that we subconsciously become negative. Pent up emotions and unfulfilled desires make us behave rudely towards others and emit negative radiations from the body. Thus we tend to overreact and become rude and harsh to others in some or the other way. This might demolish the social circle that we have. So politeness in the hearts at all means will result in polite attitude.

Whatever is rested in your heart is bound to come out in the open some or the other day. Make sure you have a prosperous life with a polite attitude and selfless love. This will make you immortal in the hearts of millions as people are going to remember for your polite words and not by your status.

A photographer once clicked a photograph of ex-president of India, Dr. Kalam with a shawl placed on his shoulder. After the photo shoot was over, the photographer rudely took off the shawl and walked off. The President smiled. After being asked about his composed behaviouir, he politely answered that maybe the photographer needed the shawl more than he did, and continued his work. People with big positions come and go but it is only their humble nature that draws millions of people towards them. Their polite words filled to the brim with modesty and love melt the hearts of even the rudest amongst the crowd. By talking politely to all we can make an impact on others lives.

Do Not..

Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.


It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Do not set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you..

Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Do not give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other....

Do not be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly.

Do not dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

The Family Man

1. Children are not pets.
2. The life they actually live and the life you perceive them to be living is not the same life.
3. Don't take what your children do too personally.
4. Don't keep score cards on them - a short memory is useful.
5. Dirt and mess are a breeding ground for well-being.
6. Stay out of their rooms after puberty.
7. Don't worry that they never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
8. Learn from them; they have much to teach you.
9. Love them long; let them go early.

Finally. You will never really know what kind of parent you were or if you did it right or wrong. Never. And you will worry about this and them as long as you live. But when your children have children and you watch them do what they do, you will have part of an answer.

Robert Fulghum

Stay Near A Critic

-Translated from a true story narrated by Sant Shri Asaramji Bapu


Long time ago there was a great king in the Raghukul dynasty (Lord Rama also belonged to the same dynasty). He was suffering from leprosy. He fell on the feet of his master, Guru Vashishtha and

said: "Oh Master! So much of suffering... ?"



The master kept his hand on his eyes and asked him: "Look far. What do you see?"



"A huge sparkling golden mountain. And another black coal like mountain."



"One is the mountain of your good karma which gave you your kingdom, richness, power & fame. Another is the mountain of your sins because of which you have the painful disease, worries & troubles."



"Master! Is there a way to get relieved of these?"



"Eat up that mountain."



"Oh lord! Eating that mountain is out of my control."



"Then eat up the pile of garbage lying behind your palace."



"Oh great soul! I will not be able to eat that. Please tell me a simple way."



For a few seconds Guru Vashishtha made his mind peaceful and thought of a solution and said: "Sleep in a bed placed near main door of the palace of your widow sister-in-law everyday at 6:00 PM."



The king of Raghukul dynasty... In the palace of widow sister-in- law... ? What will people say? But there was no other solution. The king did as his master told him. Whoever passed by commented on the bad character of the king and humilated him. People even used abusive language. At ten o' clock in the night the king silently went back to his palace. The next morning he saw that a part of his body was cured. The next day the disease was further cured. In this way his body was getting cured day by day. His mind was also more peaceful now. On the fourth day Vashishtha ji kept his hand over his eyes and asked him to see again. This time he saw that the golden mountain of good karma was as big & sparkling as earlier but the black mountain of sins became very small.



Vashishtha ji said: "All those who spoke ill about you & criticized you have taken the portion of your sins. Now they'll have to suffer the consequences of your bad karma. You have become pure."



After two days that black mountain was reduced to a small pebble. The king was totally cured except for a small mark on his face.



"Oh Master!The big mountain has vanished and a small pebble is remaining now. There is a small mark on face now and a little grief in the heart."



"The remaining part is mine. Why should I commit the sin of criticizing & blaming an innocent & pure man and then bear the consequences? You bear the remaining yourself."



Whenever great men have come to earth whether it was Ramkrishna, Ramteerth, Raman Mahrishi, Buddha, Mahavir, Kabir, Guru Nanakdev, Socrates or Christ, their critics were always there. Many of their karmas of past lives (sanchita karma) are destroyed after attaining true knowledge. They are unattached to whatever karma they are doing in this life (kriyaman) so their followers & critics take these karma. They bear with the remaining karma (prarabdha) happily. They understand that happiness & sadness come and go. How can the material things which come & go disturb my real self? Thus those who have realized true knowledge never lose their balance of mind.



Two men were going somewhere. On the way they became tired. Both of them were troubled by the heat of the sun. thirst & pebbles lying on the road. One man being ignorant is complaining: "Oh My! I'm too tired. I don't know how far we need to walk." Thus these words of his are increasing his pain. The other one knows that there is just one kilometer left. He says: "When we've walked so much then we can easily walk another kilometer. How does it matter?" One is worried and the other is merry.



Similarly those who have realized true knowledge are on the same road of life as we are. We are ignorant and they have discovered the truth.



Do not get lost in your problems or successes. If you apply concentration in your day to day circumstances then even your harsh karmas will melt away by the warmth of knowledge.



If you get the blessings of the self realized saints then your road to salvation will become easy.